Alicia Love

This is why I shouldn’t be left home alone…

on Sep 14 in Internet Craziness, Observations by Alicia tagged by Alicia

So I was home alone and bored and decided that the best place for me to hang out was the internet. Well, that probably wasn’t the best idea. It’s similar to leaving a 13 yr old home alone because this is what happened next…

I know, I know, I’m ridiculous but if anyone wants to hire me to do weddings I’m available!

Technology is winning…

on Sep 11 in Uncategorized tagged by Alicia

Does one know when they begin to lose their mind? Because I feel as though it may be happening before my very eyes. Let me explain…Technology has taken over our world. People with very limited brain function can currently stumble through life without anyone noticing their level of stupidity. I’m not talking about anyone with a disability, settle ya self. I’m talking about the average dumb ass with limited brain function, George W. Bush will work as a fine example. He’s known across the board as being an idiot yet he still became president! That is a dumb ass bumbling through life without anyone noticing quite how dumb they are until it’s too late. I’ve never considered myself overly intelligent, I have years of report cards to back that up. I’m a person of average intelligence, I have a decent amount of common sense and am quite logical. I’m also very good at puzzles, that has nothing to do with this story but I did however think that you should know that tid bit about me. You’d think someone like myself with average intelligence (and a knack for puzzles) would be able to stumble through day to day life. I need someone to shed some light on my current state of unconscious. I went to a store the other day. I got what I needed and paid the cashier. Although I don’t remember them I’m pretty certain I thought I was better than her for not having to wear that blue smock everyday. I’m not claiming to be a good person! This blog crap is about honesty is it not?! So yes I was probably being internally judgey with the cashier. Well karma won that day. The store I was leaving has automatic doors. You know the drill you walk up to the door, the sensor feels your presence and viola the door opens. Well not only does this store have automatic doors it also has the “old fashioned” kind of doors that you actually have to push open. I walked up to that set of doors with my bags in hand and just stood there. Several seconds went by, I even looked around with my eyebrows raised to see if any of the employees,the same people that while I was in line I felt superior to, knew that their crappy door was broken. I even backed up to make sure I was in the sensors line of sight! I may have even stomped my foot several times to make sure the sensor felt my presence. Not until someone walked passed me and pushed the door open did I realize that I’m an idiot. I’m one of those people bumbling through life!! I know what you’re thinking, “Alicia you’re being too hard on yourself”. No, I’m being perfectly hard on myself! On multiple occasions I have tried to open my front door with the little thing on my keychain that unlocks the car doors!!!! This is not ok! Are these early signs of dementia? Should I just move to Florida now and start doing puzzles on a regular basis? Have I become so dependent on technology that my brain is functioning less? I believe it has, I would be lost without things like my iPhone and my DVR. I might even go as as to say that I could be addicted…they have places for technology addiction now, don’t believe me, go check it out http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=breaking-free-from-the-web-new-reha-2009-08-21

Just a side note, I wrote this blog several days ago, every time I sat in in front of my computer to post it I forgot why I was there and got lost on the internet…I’m pretty sure now is when we should all be concerned for my safety! Thanks for reading, I have to go now,  I’ve been trying to start my car for a half an hour using my iPod.

More Improv Stuff

on Sep 09 in Improv tagged by Alicia

As you all know I’ve been doing Improv at The Improv Asylum in The North End. I’ve been taking classes and I recently auditioned and made it onto the House Teams. House Teams only last for a few weeks and then they have a new round of auditions. Last week we had our most recent set of auditions and thankfully I made it! I’ll be continuing my run of mediocre performances in these Improv Shows on Tuesday nights! The shows are great, there are some super talented people involved in these performances! Plus every week you get a chance to see some of the cast from The Main Stage perform with us newbies in a segment of the show called “The Lottery”. The shows are a blast hope to see you guys at one soon!

www.ImprovAsylum.com

You should try this at home…

on Sep 09 in Observations by Alicia tagged by Alicia

I was in a store today and I saw someone drop something and then squat down to pick it up. Now we all know what a squat is, you bend at the knees. Well, no matter how old or young, fat or thin the person squatting is my first instinct is to tap them in the thigh with my foot and knock them over.   It has to be the least graceful way to fall over. There really is no catching yourself once in you’re in that position. If the person is a little chubby, it’s really, really funny! (I’m chubby, I can say that!) Think about it, when someone is knocked over in that position they usually end up on their butt or flat on their back! Just so you know, I don’t really walk up to strangers and do this. You should also know that the desire to do it is overwhelming!! I blame this all on my brothers, I could never squat down in my house because I knew without fail I would be instantly knocked over! Now, does this make me a bad person? However before you answer this question, drop something on the floor and have your friend squat down to pick it up while they’re down there tap them in the thigh with your foot, I’m telling you it’s hilarious! Ok, now that you all know that I have the sense of humor of a 9 year old I will go…stop judging me and try it for yourself it’s a guaranteed laugh! …you’re right, I am a bad person.

I’m pretty certain I need professional help!

on Sep 09 in Observations by Alicia, TV SHows tagged by Alicia

So, I think I might be crazy. Seriously! I’ve been a TV-aholic since I was a kid. When I was little I wanted the things that happened in a 30 minute sitcom to happen in my life. I wanted Charles in Charge of me, I wanted Nell Carter to come to my house to take care of my family, I wanted to be best friends with Arnold Drummond and I wanted to go to Eastland School for girls! I can sing every theme song to pretty much any show that you hit me with. It’s bordering on pathetic! When I was 12 I started watching soap operas, most likely for the sex. Mr. Belvedere wasn’t doing the nasty I needed to get it somewhere. One day my parents pulled me aside, now understand I come from an Irish Catholic family, we don’t talk about stuff. For them to voice a concern was unusual. Normally, they would have just kept it to themselves and drank away there worries! So this must have been somewhat of a large concern of theirs. They sat me down and asked me if I realized that life didn’t happen the way things happened on TV. It was the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had with my parents! I think without saying it they were trying to say that the sex scenes in soap operas were not how sex was really going to be.  I didn’t care about that; again I wanted to be best friends with Arnold Drummond I didn’t want to screw him! I wanted a maid, a train in my living room and a racecar bed!!!  The conversation they should have been having with me was we’re never going to be rich so you’ll never have a grandfather clock that opens up and will take you through secret passage ways in the house, you’ll always be the Natalie and Never the Jo and you’ll never have a sister who’s secretly a robot! The sex conversation I could have done without, I didn’t understand it then anyway!  (Side note, they were so off about the TV sex by the way! They apparently were doing something very wrong!) You’re probably asking yourself, why the hell is she writing this insanity?!?! Because the other day I had a migraine, I felt like my head was going to shoot off of my shoulders. I was thinking I should probably go to the doctors at some point to get this checked out. Without skipping a beat I thought “I wonder if Dr. Shepard has any openings.” I’m a 30 year old woman and sadly considered seeing Dr. McDreamy for my severe migraines…I can’t tell if this is funny, pathetic or a little of both!!! I’m thinking I should probably talk to a licensed professional about this weird condition I have. I wonder if Dr. Crane has any openings this week….

A bit surprised!

on Jul 05 in Comedy Shows, Improv tagged by Alicia

I’ve been taking improv classes at The Improv Asylum in the North End for the last few months. I know some of you are probably thinking “Alicia, you do comedy all the time, why take a class?” I do Stand-Up all the time, there’s a big difference between the two. I’m on my own doing stand-up, if I screw up it’s on me! By doing improv I’m learning to play nice with others, sharing the stage, thinking quickly on my feet and doing all of this without a script. As off the cuff as most stand-up seems, it’s planned out, written and rewritten, worked and reworked until it gets the best laugh. Improv is fleeting, you put it out there and before you know it it’s gone. I’ve been really enjoying the classes, I’ve met some really great people and had the chance to learn from fantastic teachers! I just started level 3 and when you get to level 3 you have the opportunity to audition for “House Teams”. About 2 weeks ago they held auditions, I went thinking that this will be a good experience, auditioning for anything is always good practice. I went fully believing that I would not get on a House Team and it was just for the experience. I got my email yesterday and I made it onto a team!! I’m psyched, I’ll have the chance to work with people that have been doing Improv a lot longer than I have and I’m looking forward to learning from them. Rehearsals start July 12th and starting July 21st I’ll be performing at The Improv Asylum every Tuesday night…Yikes!

www.ImprovAsylum.com

Another Fun Filled Weekend of Comedy

on Jun 17 in Comedy Shows tagged by Alicia

Hey Kids,
I’ll be out telling joke Thursday 6/18, Friday 6/19 and Saturday 6/20.

Thursday I’ll be at Catch a Rising Star inside of Twin River Casino in Lincoln, RI.
It’s LOL Thursdays, I have no idea what it means just come and we can both find out!

Here’s a coupon, print that out and you’ll get a little discount!! For More info go to www.catcharisingstar.com

Friday 6/19 and Saturday 6/20
I’ll be performing at The Kowloon in Saugus! I’ll be hosting and appearing with Tim Kaelin & Kevin Knox.
Show starts at 8:30pm on both nights. Doors open at 8pm and Tickets are $20. For more info go to http://kowloonrestaurant.com/

Hopefully I’ll see you guys out this weekend!
~Alicia

Two days filled with comedy!

on May 26 in Celebrities, Comedy Shows tagged by Alicia

The past 2 days have been filled with comedy shows! Obviously I’m in heaven Lastnight I did my first set at New York Comedy Club and did great! Now I never say that but I had very low expectations of myself for that set and was super nervous. The fact that I got laughs was a giant bonus!! From there I jumped in a cab and bolted over to Comix where my girl Beckerman gave me some stage time in Ochi’s Lounge. I felt like a comic in the 80’s doing as many shows in one night as possible, minus the coke and the large sums of money! Tonight I went to Carolines for the first time and saw Judy Gold. She was great, I laughed my ass off! I bumped into her in the lobby after the show and had the chance to let her know that I thought she was awesome I did have 2 glasses of wine and because I’m a cheap date I was slightly buzzed so hopefully I didn’t make an ass of myself, sadly I’m not 100% sure. Ok, I’m off to ride The Staten Island Ferry, don’t laugh! I’m being a total tourist and it’s free!! Hopefully I’ll update more of my adventures tomorrow ~A

Test

on May 19 in Test tagged by Alicia

So supposedly I can update my site from my iPhone, I’m giving this a shot, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Way to encourage the kids…

on May 14 in Observations by Alicia tagged by Alicia

I was at Ocean State Job Lot (Don’t Ask what I was doing there) And this is a real book!!

Who needs college when you can be like Homer Simpson!!